I will never understand in this life why things happen the way they do. Most of me believes that the sum total of our lives means something. I have no way to explain the seeming random nature of events.
A good friend had a grandbaby about one month after my granddaughter was born. My grandchild was happy, healthy and the worst her parents had to deal with was her very sensitive skin and a bad diaper rash. My friend's grandchild was born with a hernia. This sounds relatively benign to the non-medical person, but the odds for survival are not great. His bowel was outside his body and had to be corrected with surgery. He was born a month premature and surgery after surgery occurred. Complications and infections ended with him having a feeding tube and colostomy. He only had about an inch of his bowel remaining. He was sent home from the hospital but in the care of hospice. He lived for a total of exactly eleven months. He never gained control of his muscles, could not lift his head, was blind, deaf and very delayed. He continued to go in and out of the hospital. This week he went into septic shock and his kidneys shut down. He was on a ventilator. His parents made the difficult decision to take him off of life support. He went quickly. His mother was only twenty. She amazed everyone with her maturity in dealing with her son's fragile condition. She accepted him for who he was, had no disappointment in him, and did her best to make his life as good as she possibly could.
Meanwhile, I have continued to marvel at my grandbaby as she grows, learns, interacts, walks, and seems to enjoy everything about life.
Two lives began. One goes on with the child totally embracing her life and being in awe while learning cause and effect. She giggles as she discovers how things work. The other life is over and was stuffed with the endurance of unfathomable pain. His challenge was in drawing a breath. Her challenge is in understanding the world.
I am not wise enough to know why these things occur. I do know that it is very important to find the blessing in every moment of every day. My friend's daughter did that. She had a very sick son, but she rejoiced in his life and in her ability to bring some happiness to him in the form of her love. She told her mom the day after he died, "I miss him". I know she will think of him often. He left a permanent mark on her heart.