The Best that I Can Be

I am not the same woman today that I was a decade ago, a year ago, a week ago or a minute ago.  I do my best to choose to be the best that I can be every moment of every day.

Yesterday my son said something to me that  came out of his desire to be protective of me.  It set my mind in gear so I wanted to blog about it.   I sometimes forget that I am 64 years old and do something that would not have been at all risky when I was a decade or so younger.   Last night, I climbed over something that was in my way rather than rearranging the furniture and being more prudent.  He said, "Mom, you are old!".  I am sure he noticed the stricken look on my face.  Try as I might, my face gives away my emotions.  He immediately said, "you aren't weak, but you are old".  He is a wonderful, adorable man.  He does sometimes just say what he is thinking without filters.  I rather cherish that about him.  I know he only does that with those of us he loves and trusts.

I started thinking about the days when our family was younger.  He and his brother would sometimes firmly declare that I would always be strong and active, i.e. I would always be able to play basketball and throw a baseball.  I try to take care of myself.  I am mindful of what I eat and drink.  I eat considerable amounts of vegetables and fruit and small portions of chicken, beef and fish with very little processed food.  I workout at least three days a week and try to do some sort of activity on days between workouts.  During those workouts, I do weight bearing exercises that include squats, lunges and presses with an impressive amount of weight for a woman who weighs 105 on a fat day and isn't quite 5 feet tall.  Nonetheless, I find that my body does not respond with the vigor it could once deliver. 

For those of you who are a baby boomer like me, you may be aging as gracefully as you can, but you are still aging.  I am more financially stable than I have ever been.  I enjoy going to work and still being able to do some good for the world.  I have dedicated my life to trying to help others.  I do that because I love it.  I feel honored to do that.

I am a clinical social worker.  I used to do hours of therapy everyday with a wide assortment of people.  My more recent jobs have had me behind a desk doing more administrative functions, but still with the end purpose of trying to help others.  I take fish oil to try to keep my mind and body active.  Still, I find that it takes longer to retrieve things from my memory banks.  I joke that it is because my storage space is getting over crowded.  I know that I have lots of space up there, its just that my synapses are not quite as quick as they once were. 

So, I am getting older.  I may have plenty of years left, but I will not be able to do things as quickly or efficiently as I once did.  I will have more lines,  wrinkles and aging spots.  My skin will not be as form fitting as it once was. 

No matter what goes on with my body, I can choose to be mindful!  I can be in the moment.  I can take pleasure in that moment.  I may do that by treating myself to a fashionable purse or suit that I did not find on the sale rack with last years fashions or that I did not buy at the end of the season. 

More importantly, I can be in the moment and enjoy the eye contact with my granddaughter in which she smiles and looks deeply into my eyes and spirit as I smile back and gaze into her eyes.  I can savor the moment when my son earnestly tells me he wants me to be an integral part of his children's lives.  I can be mindful and focus on their words and emotions as I respond to the pain one of my loved ones is experiencing rather than thinking about what I am going to say next.   I can enjoy all those instances with my loved ones in which there is a linking of mind and spirit.  I can make sure I tell my loved ones frequently and meaningfully that I love them.  I can be available when they want more of me and unobtrusive and undemanding when they are busy with the details of their lives and relationships.  I can make sure my thoughts are healthy and that I am not dwelling on things that I cannot change or that cause me to feel depressed, sad or negative.

I can choose to be present and mindful in every moment of every day.  I choose, in an ever increasing percentage of those moments, to make the best of my body, mind and spirit!  I challenge you to do the same.