Anger Management Step 5 - Pay Attention to Life Lessons

I can always tell when I am walking in the right direction in my life. The road signs indicating my correct direction always become more plentiful.   I am hopeful that the first four steps of anger management have resulted in you taking that inventory of your prisoners to begin determining release dates.  Hopefully, you are beginning to see some relief as you courageously look at who you have nursed a grudge toward and released some.

As I started this blog series about anger management the lessons circled back around to my own life.  I thought I was just writing to   help others.   When I teach others, it always seems to point back to things I need to do.  Writing this series has helped me gain insight into my life and more actively practice the tenants of anger management.   I discovered I had a few prisoners in holding cells since my last review or self-inventory.  I have always considered this area to be where my life work has been most fruitful, but my practice had become lax.

The other thing I have noticed in my life is that just when I really feel like I am about to get back on course with my life, I hit some road blocks or things that could detour my path or at least challenge my success and intentions.  Perhaps your intentions have been challenged as you started looking at releasing your captives.

As I was backing out of a parking space this week, I had a collision with a guy.  He yelled at me excitedly when I got out of my car to see what damage had been caused.  He said, "I am okay but you...!" and pointed to my car's damage which I was also assessing.  He indicated he was trying to pull into the parking place as I was pulling out.  He said, accusingly, "I was trying to warn you!" I looked at him blankly and said, "you didn't honk".  He said he waved his arms at me. I considered my options quickly and decided this was not worthy of me doing or saying anything more.  I simply said "well, okay then" and got back in my car.  As I slowly pulled away and drove through the parking lot someone started to pull out on me.   I honked at them.  They saw me, stopped and no collision occurred.  

It was only then that I realized I was angry.  I looked in my rear view mirror,  saw my collision partner some distance behind me and yelled at my mirror, "now that is the way you let someone know they are about to hit you".  Of course, he did not hear me or know I was talking to him.  I began working on forgiving him for yelling at me, not using his horn and blaming me.   I had to forgive him for the nuisance of having to find someone to fix my car and be inconvenienced by the repair process.  I had to forgive me for not paying better attention when pulling out of a parking space.   I did all of those things within a short time.

It was a great lesson in ongoing, immediate forgiveness in order to keep my jail empty and my emotions fully available.  I feel some amusement at him at this point.  I hope next time he honks his horn to warn drivers instead of waving his arms.   From what I observed about him, I recognize that he has his struggles using a second language in a country with customs that are possibly still quite strange to him.   I found my compassion for him.   What good would it do me to drag around resentment?  It never serves any positive purpose!  My would be prisoner can benefit from my good wishes, and I can benefit from giving them.  

Today, I found a lovely place to fix my car for a low price. The manager was a nice gentleman who quickly gave me a fair price, a promise to complete the work by Tuesday and a lovely firm handshake.  A car rental is right next door.   Besides keeping my jail empty, it is very important that I find the good in every minute of every day that I draw a breath.