Sunday, October 20, 2013

Anger Management Step 6.5 Loving Yourself

Since I left you with a list of things you needed to forgive about yourself by looking deeply at your own impact on humanity, I wanted to say a little more about some important things to do and remember in this part of the cleaning up process.

Remember this is a process to help you feel loved so you can manage your anger.  Be gentle on yourself.  If you do not love you, it is impossible for anyone else to love you.  Love begins within you and flows out. Do not call yourself names or obsess about why someone frowned at you.   We often think how we treat ourselves is of no importance.  Wrong!  It is the most important aspect of being able to manage your anger.  Your anger comes out of a deep place of hurt, sadness and feeling wronged.  As you clean that out and replace it with confidence in self, love and awareness of so many good things around you (that sunrise, that sunset, that cuddle from your dog, that free flowing laughter from a child,  that smile from a stranger) you begin to feel truly cared for.  Take a moment (several is better) everyday to reflect on everything good in your life.  Hint: often as my examples indicated above, these are small things. 

I spent many years being harsh on myself and not being aware of all the loving touches given to me by those who shared my space for the moment or for a lifetime.  Truthfully, I can relapse easily.  The good thing is that I have shared my propensity for self flagellation with enough people who love me that I am held accountable for maintaining a loving attitude toward me.  That thought brings us to the next step.  We will address cleaning up and repairing some of the messes we have made.   In the meantime, practice gratitude and self-caring.   


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