Kindness

About a decade ago, as I was strolling through life,  I stumbled across a better understanding of the philosophy of the Buddha.   I have always been open to learning more.  I have studied a wide variety of philosophies to try to find a better version of myself and to discover the truths for healthy/happy living.

To understand the Buddha, I attended classes taught by modern Buddhist nuns.  I read books by a variety of modern day Buddhists. and I went to see the Dalai Lama when he was speaking in Houston at Rice University. I felt his connection to the thousands who were in the room with him.  There was something different about him.  He was not raising money or seeking anything except to convey the source of his well-being.  His well-being was palpable.  I struggled to understand because it seemed so simple.  I am in control of me. I am in control of my thoughts.  I can choose who I am and how I am.  I can be miserable or I can be happy.  I can let go of any attachment to all outcomes.

I began to meditate and practice mindfulness.  Meditation is not magical.  It simply teaches you to quit driving yourself crazy with random thoughts.  It helps me take control of my own mind.  I quit believing my thoughts are truth. They are just thoughts.  I recognized how random they could be and how much they could mislead me. They could lead me to be unkind to myself and to others.

I did not learn anything new by studying the nuggets of truth I found in what was taught by the Buddha.  I did understand more about what I knew.

Jesus of Nazareth taught some things that were inarguable.  He loved those around him unconditionally and taught kindness through words and example. He pointed out the unhelpful things that people did to one another.  

The Buddha - 500 years before Jesus - loved people  and taught kindness.  He eschewed the thought that you had to punish yourself to find the true essence of life.  

Religion always seems to find ways to do considerable harm to others.  Religion ends up believing that all who do not believe exactly as a church or religion does are wrong and need to be saved from themselves.  Religions make it complicated.  

The capacity for understanding is within each individual.  The meaning of life is happiness.  The way to happiness is an inside job. I have to master my thoughts and find joy and peace in the moment.  I live moment to moment.  I live knowing we are all part of and connected to each other.  If I hurt you, I am hurting a part of myself.  All you need to be happy is kindness from within. The next step is to start giving that same kindness to others.

The only peace and happiness I have known is when I turn off the chatter from without - do this, don't do that, that is wrong the chatter says. The chatter within is just as bad because it repeats all the chatter I have picked up throughout my life.  Meditation is about learning to notice the chatter and to let it go.  The chatter says I have to know what is next and control the outcome.  Kindness recognizes the futility of that.

When I tune in and ask myself, "is that a kind thing to do, say, be?", I will find the answer.  The thoughts (chatter) in my head may argue, but ultimately it is not very difficult to know if something is kind. Does it hurt me?  Does it hurt another?  Will it bring a smile? Will it bring a tear of pain?  What is my purpose in saying it or doing it?  Is it to win?  Is it to be accepted? Is it to please you so you will like me?  Is it to dash your belief in something so you will believe what I do?

My children and grandchildren taught me more about kindness. They are clearly a part of me.   Seeing them hurt, hurts my heart.  If they are physically injured, I feel the pain in my own body. 

What if we all reacted to everyone that way?

The truth is we are all connected to one another. When I am kind the results are positive feelings (happy and/or loving). When I am not kind it causes negative feelings of (anger and or hurt/sadness). 

Let all be kind to each other.  In the words of the Dalai Lama, "My religion is simple.  My religion is kindness."